You know, Celest Ng is an author I’ve always known about but have never actually read any of her work. Which is a shame because she’s practically a local! I was in the market for reading something shorter, and her debut novel, Everything I Never Told You caught my attention.
In this novel, it follows the aftermath of the members of a family after the middle child, Lydia, drowns. The whole book is spent with each character trying to figure out what happened, why she maybe did it, what they missed, and what was left unsaid. It turns out this family internalizes a lot. But that comes with many complexities. This is a family in the late 70s where the husband, James, is Chinese-American, while his wife is a white woman who attempted to persue medicine. These are a lot of things outside the norm for that time, especially in Northeast Ohio.
James is a professor, and while his wife was in the midst of becoming a doctor, having children took her away from that life. While she attempted to get it back, more out of spite against her mother, children once again got in the way of her realizing her dream. James, while he’s found contentment in his teaching, can’t help but always feeling like an outsider trying to fit in. It’s these feelings that sort of shape their three childrens’ lives. This book is frustrating in a way, because it’s clear that neither James nor Marilyn could accomplish what they really set out to do. And in their shortcomings, they put a lot of pressure on their kids.
Eldest son, Nath, can never seem to live up to his father’s expectations. Even though they want him to do well in school, James can never shake the fact that socially, Nath is just like him. But where James was extremely uncomfortable with that, Nath doesn’t seem to care at all. The boy just wants to be an astronaut! Then there is middle child, Lydia, who for some reason has to bear the life that her mother couldn’t live. She keeps pushing and pushing the sciences onto Lydia, who as it turns out, isn’t that good at it! But for fear of her mother leaving again, Lydia continues to persue her mother’s dream for her. And her father is no better, always pestering her about friends or social events. Almost her whole life has been set up to please and never really finding out anything about herself. Then their is the youngest, Hannah, who is practically invisible to her parents, and almost barely registers to her older siblings. Despite being vastly ignored, Hannah loves her family and is a keen observer.
It’s Hannah who has the most insight into what was going on with all of her family members, though she ultimately doesn’t know how Lydia ended up dead. I won’t spoil the how, the what, or the why for you, though. All in all, I really enjoyed the inner lives of this mixed-race family. It took place in such a unique time, and it’s so interesting to try and not be mad at the parents for taking over their kids’ lives. I can relate in a much less intense way, where I’m only now learning to persue what I want without letting their opinions pressure me one way or another. I know parents always mean well, but sometimes they are oblivious to the damage it might be causing. A great read!