Book Review: How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

I know I’m still not totally caught up with Grady Hendrix’s entire bibliography, but I jumped at the chance to get his latest, How to Sell a Haunted House, at my local library the second I could. Coming as no surprise, it did not disappoint.

While I’m sure this fear I have is probably shared with a lot of people, Hendrix seemed to tap into exactly what freaks me the fuck out: dolls. More specifically, ventriloquist dummies. Those things are beyond creepy. And Hendrix apparently agrees. But before we get to those unsettling dolls, first let’s talk about what gets us there. We meet Louise, a woman in her early 30s who is unmarried and having her first child. Somewhat surprisingly, her parents are totally onboard and supportive even though Louise lives all the way across the country now. Everything is peachy with them all until Louise’s child is about five years old. At that time Louise’s parents die in a car accident, and from there everything changes drastically.

Firstly, she learns that everything gets left to her brother Mark, thanks to her mother’s will. Mark, to Louise, is essentially a loser. Given that we only get Louise’s perspective, it does seem that way. He’s pretty brutal at first and doesn’t offer to split anything with Louise, who’s looking to cash in for Poppy’s future. Eventually he relents, but not after some harsh words with their relatives. The real problems though, lie within their parent’s home. Louise sets foot in there and it immediately on edge. It doesn’t help that her mother was a dedicated puppeteer and doll maker. The sheer amount of them freaks Louise out, but it’s just a few in particular that really give her the heebie jeebies.

Then some wild stuff starts happening and it’s clear this house is haunted. Or at least the dolls are. Only a few of them appear to be evil, but it’s an evil that is all-encompassing and life-changing. Mark, too, knows that something is not right with the house, but it’s only when their mother’s favorite puppet, Pupkin, returns does shit really start to hit the fan. This puppet (ventriloquist dummy) is pure evil and the brutality he unleashes onto Louise and Mark is intense. I think Hendrix might have penned the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever read, and it involves a sewing needle and an eyeball. You do the math.

That’s all I’ll say about this bonkers horror novel, but it’s totally worth the read if the supernatural is your thing. Also, if you’re a fan of Hendrix, it should be a no-brainer.