Full disclosure, the only reason I even picked up this novel, Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll, was because I saw the Netflix trailer and was intrigued by its mystery. That’s sad that Netflix movies are what’s driving my reading choices, but when People magazine is the only source for “new hits,” I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised.
What was surprising? How dark this book was! I was expecting a general unease, which the movie managed to capitalize on more, but what I got instead was my brain thrown into the wringer! I’m going to start off by saying that “present day” TifAni FaNelli was pretty unlikeable. She was an insecure hot girl, who was marrying handsome and rich, and was just downright mean to people. I’m not saying I’m Pope Francis here, but even her level of vitriol made me uncomfortable. Of course, as the book went along, I had to reassess my feelings about her and her obvious lack of coping, but still. It was hard for me to like her. Maybe if I had been able to relate to any of the traumas she faced I would have been more sympathetic. That’s on me for sure, and I’m sure this actually hit too close to home for a lot of women and girls out there.
TifAni’s problems really started in earnest when she started up at some uppity private school her freshman year of high school. She immediately felt as though she were an outsider, and as most teenagers do, she was willing to change a lot to become a part of the popular crowd’s bubble. I found it strange that even though she was doing so much to be a part of this crowd that she still socialized so much with this small group of outcasts. And that the popular kids never gave her crap for it. I suppose it’s because she never truly fit in with them at all. In a series of sexual assaults and a pregnancy scare, TifAni learned that her real friend was Arthur, the defecto leader of the weird kids, until he wasn’t. She also connected in a way much more real to her very young teacher and cross country coach. What a relationship that was. And it never turned predatory in any way – unheard of!
Aside from the life-changing interactions with her rapists, she then was soon faced with another serious trauma. After cutting Arthur out of her life, one day he and another former student opened fire on many of their classmates. TifAni was probably doomed, but she got the upper hand and killed Arthur before he got the chance. All of these horrific events are coming back to light a decade later because people are coming out of the woodwork intending to film a documentary about the whole thing. The big difference this time? TifAni is going to tell it all, in all it’s gory details. It’s certainly the catharsis and type of “closure” she needs, but learning about these events was jarring. I could not imagine having to go through that and coming out functional. Sadly, what’s happened to this fictional character are a lot of people’s realities. Definitely relatable, just hard to read.
Having already seen the movie just after finishing the book, obviously I’d give the edge to the book. The school shooting reveal was almost as surprising as that Gone Girl twist. Of course, if reading is not your jam, the Netflix film certainly covers all of the important stuff. Take your pick – or both!