You may all be disappointed to know that I watched a respectable number of movies this weekend. Manageable even, for normal people! I only watched three films which made me a little sad, but the movies themselves were quite diverse and satisfying. I suppose I can’t complain all that much (and I can catch up next weekend).
First up was Netflix’s newest Adam Sandler flick, Hubie Halloween. Remember how I opened this review saying they were all satisfying…I lied. This movie was honestly terrible. For almost two hours I had to listen to Sandler talk in his Waterboy voice and scream at childish jump scares. This was also, as most of his films are of late, just a showcase for all of his friends. And by showcase, I mean unnecessary cameos.
But before I rip into this more, let’s talk about plot. Hubie is a strange boy who just wants to protect the town on Halloween, and almost every single person in this town bullies him. It would take me forever to list the celebrity appearances in this film so just trust me when I say the only standouts were Steve Buscemi and June Squibb. The only other star of the show was Hubie’s “Swiss Army thermos,” which had the most random capabilities, but lacked basics like a compass. My biggest beef with the movie was that halfway through watching it I had no clue who this movie was for. Kids? Adults? There was limited to no swearing, but then you had penis jokes. Confusing. You can spend your Halloween better, so do it by skipping this movie when Netflix recommends it.
A slight recovery from that monstrosity was Blumhouse’s newest Prime installment, The Lie. This thriller featured a pretty solid cast in Peter Sarsgaard and Joey King, but it ultimately just sort of dragged on in a lot of parts for me. SPOILERS AHEAD! King plays bratty teen, Kayla, who’s father is driving her to a dance retreat when they pick up one of her friends. They take a pit stop and it ends up that Kayla’s pushed her friend off a bridge and into an icy river to her death. The dumbest thing her father did was treat this accident like a crime! They went back to the mother’s house to figure out what to do.
It’d all be fine if the friend’s father wasn’t looking for her. They just keep digging themselves deeper with more lies, when ultimately they run the man over! Then it turns out Kayla was lying about her friend, who casually enters the home the next day. Kayla liked seeing her parents come together on her behalf and just decided to roll with it! Well, she’s definitely earned that brat title! Don’t get me wrong, the twists in this story were pretty cool, but the road there was a little tedious. Again, I think you can do better with Halloween-esque films, like Ready or Not or The Rental.
Finally, I rented the newly released sci-fi romance film, Spontaneous. This movie was based off the book of the same name, and I heard the author in an interview describe it as The Fault in Our Stars but more twisted. In a way, it is like that book. Two teens come together in the throws of tragedy, and then one of them dies. I don’t feel like that is a spoiler if A.) it’s a book, and B.) the author compares it to a book where a kid definitely dies before the ending. Let’s back up a little and cover what this story was actually about. Told mainly from the perspective of Mara, she’s living her normal life when suddenly the seniors in her class start “popping, like a balloon.”
Chaos ensues, a quarantine goes down (the TRAUMA), and then our two lovebirds get their own disappointment. I know what I’m describing sounds somewhat depressing, but believe it or not this is a comedy. A dark one, but still. The cast of characters are fun and enticing and not knowing when the next student is going to pop is sort of terrifying. I almost didn’t want to get too attached to any of them because I just knew that someone important was going to die. Heck, even though this was Mara’s story, I was still expecting her to pop at some point! You could tell there were lots of practical effects, but they were just executed really well. Bravo to that film and it’s definitely the winner of the weekend. Also, the book has made it onto my read list, so look out for that review in the future!