Mediocre Movie Reviews: Serenity, Glass, Mid90s, The Oath

Well folks, I managed to squeeze in four intensely mediocre films this weekend. Sorry if I have offended anyone, but this is just my opinion.

First up was my sister’s choice to go see Serenity with Matthew McConauhey and Anne Hathaway. I will admit that I never used to care for McConauhey and I’m a severe Hatha-hater, so I’m not sure what made me decide to say “yes” to seeing this movie. Either way, I went. About halfway through I turned to my friend and declared that this movie is at least a D+. The story took place in a sleepy fishing town in some tropical area. McConauhey’s Baker Dill has casual sex with an older women and it obsessed with catching this gigantic tuna. It’s this same scene for about 45 minutes of the film and then Hathaway shows up with a seriously bad dye job. We learn that she’s an ex from back in the day and left him with their son for her now abusive husband. She eventually convinces Baker to take her husband out to sea and kill him. All while this is happening there are a few weird camera shifts and cuts to their strange son playing video games. At the end you finally learn that Baker Dill died in war and the whole movie is a video game world that the son has created. Very choppy. Very not good. Don’t waste your cash.

Glass only left me mildly disappointed. Despite the events taking place right after Split, a lot of time was spend rehashing what Unbreakable star Bruce Willis and his son have been up to. And just like Unbreakable, I really wanted to like this movie because the concept is so original and unlike anything I’ve ever really seen, but it was just so slow and not a whole lot of action. Spoiler, all of the original baddies (and one good) die at the end; a seemingly good end to the trilogy, but Sarah Paulson’s Dr. Ellie Staple is part of a bigger and extremely delusional cult and it seems like their work might not be done. This film is getting panned by critics across the board, but that doesn’t stop the box office for this to keep going up. I vote you spend your theater time with something else and wait to rent this.

Next I rented two more recent releases, The Oath and Mid90s. I wanted to like them both so much, but one was a political comedy starring Ike Barinholtz and Tiffany Haddish that just didn’t land for me and Mid90s was rather vulgar even for my taste. The Oath focused on a near future dystopian state where the government wants everyone to sign a controversial document called the “Patriot’s Oath.” Taking place over the course of Thanksgiving week, there are family arguments and two questionable Homeland Security agents show up when all hell breaks loose. A lot of rehashing, and I just don’t really like political movies. Mid90s focused on little Stevie, who becomes enthralled and eventually friends with a group of skaters. In many efforts to prove himself he smokes, drinks, does drugs, has a sexual experience, and gets himself hurt. A lot. Even though I am a product of the 90s, I found it really hard to related to this film. maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up in this particular area of the country or in Stevie’s particular household. Also, Lucas Hedges as a bully big brother was completely unbelievable. Not sure why Jonah Hill cast him here.

Overall, don’t waste your time with any of these films and hopefully I’ll have something better to review next weekend!

Awards Season Review: Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG-AFTRA)

Awards seasons continues with the last major ceremony before the Academy Awards, the Screen Actors Guild Awards, so naturally I was excited to watch the 25th iteration of it last night! With that being said, Megan Mullally, the host, was seriously awkward, and I don’t know that I even heard chuckles from the audience for most of her jokes. Although I did like when she brought out Smitty from Will & Grace. Her opening monologue was so poor that I think she took away from what would have been a pretty good joke from Ricky Martin, who was a presenter of the first award of the night.

I apparently didn’t look too closely at who was nominated for each category before tuning in, because some were quite odd and surprising. It seems some people who were considered for supporting roles were considered for main ones here, Sam Rockwell got shut out of the supporting actor, and so did Vice for the best ensemble category. Some surprise wins for me included Emily Blunt for her silent role in A Quiet Place, John Krasinski’s nomination for best actor in a drama series, and This Is Us taking home the trophy for best drama over the last season of The Americans.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel swept all the categories it was nominated for, and Rami Malek further cemented his chances for best actor after he nabbed it again last night (did anyone else see Christian Bale’s face at that win?!). I was surprised, but not, to see Black Panther win best ensemble, especially since it was up against other crowd favorites like Crazy Rich Asians. I did notice that Roma had no nominations and A Star is Born got completely shut out again (not looking good, Oscars), so some other actors got some real chances. And this awards show is different in that the awards are voted on by their SAG peers – it’s almost like a superlatives show, although good actors know good acting, so I can’t ignore that.

Notable speeches of the night included Rami Malek, Emily Blunt, and Life Achievement Award recipient Alan Alda. Go fishing through Youtube to find those – you’re welcome.

Album Review: FEVER 333, Strength in Numb333rs

Fever 333 are one of the most explosive and exciting bands that I’ve listened to recently, so I’m very excited to be doing this review! Not even a year after their wildly successful and amazing EP, Made in America, the band released their first full-length album, Strength in Numb333rs. Man is this record impactful! It’s in your face right from the get-go and they don’t stop for 10 tracks! The lead single “Burn It” is reminiscent of the EP and is catchy as hell, where “Inglewood/3” slows down a little bit at the start and then rips your face off at the end. Personally and politically charged, this album’s lyrics are angry and lead singer, Jason Aalon Butler, is literally screaming most of them at you. A method that works, because after one listen all of those songs stuck with me.

Having seen them live twice with a lot less content to perform, I can’t wait to see them again and take over the entire venue, let alone the stage. They’ve got a polarizing presence in the rock scene and I know that they are going to get the recognition they deserve very soon (fingers crossed for the Grammy Awards on February 2nd)! Stand outs on the record for me include “Am I Here?,” “Prey for Me/3,” and “One of Us.” Do yourself a favor, and go listen to Strength in Numb333rs. Like now.

Film Review: Polar

So yesterday was January 25th, which means Mads Mikkelsen’s first of two frigid films came out, Polar on Netflix. I stayed up late to watch this gruesome action flick, and I must say it was totally worth it! Having never read the noir comic this moved was based on, it gave me some serious John Wick vibes, but a lot gritter.

Mikkelsen plays Duncan, an assassin two weeks from retirement. The company he works for has other plans, especially since Duncan’s retirement equals an $8 million dollar payout that they just can’t afford (yay finance!). Duncan is living a semi-quiet life in the woods next door to Camille, played by Vanessa Hudgens (odd), who I’m not quite sure what her purpose serves in his life yet.

All of that is disrupted when upper management sends a sea of younger assassins to kill Duncan. He ends up defending himself really well, and NAKED, but learns that Camille has been taken as a means to lure Duncan to “the mansion” to be killed. After getting duped by an old colleague and tortured for the four days leading up to his retirement, Duncan ultimately comes out on top but severely injured. A few days of healing later and he’s ready to take on the remaining assassins with the coolest laser-machine guns! Mass carnage!

He saves Camille from her drug-induced state, but then, PLOT TWIST, she ends up being the only survivor from an assignment Duncan was given long ago. With a gun pointed at his head, Duncan accepts his fate only to be spared to help Camille to find the man who had put the hit out on her family.

Like I said, really gruesome and gritty, but really well done. Maks Mikkelsen is fantastic!

Book Review: Fallen Series

Almost 2,000 pages later and I’m finally done reading the Fallen book series by Lauren Kate. While my review of the first two books were a little bitter, I will say the series had a strong finish, with a nice short little companion book in the middle.

After Fallen and Torment, the book Passion followed. This book finally takes Luce out of her school surroundings and away from her angel and Nephilim friends. Which was sort of nice. This books main focus was Luce going through her “Announcers” and into all of her past lives to see how she was and how she met Daniel and ultimately died each time. Not too long after travelling alone she meets up with a gargoyle looking figure who goes by the name Bill (why?). he’s there to help her through her past lives and even teaches her how to “cleave” with her past selves. None of this sounds sketchy at all….

Meanwhile, all of the angels and Nephilim have split up also looking through Announcers to find Luce and bring her back. Daniel is not really successful in the slightest, but he realizes that this was all meant to happen and that something Luce does while fiddling in these past lives is what ultimately broke her curse.

In the end it turns out Bill wasn’t so nice after all. In fact, he’s Lucifer! And he’s supremely pissed at Luce. He wants the scale tipped in his favor and Luce isn’t making that possible. So instead, he leaves her is some dark limbo state while he goes back to the beginning to re-initiate “the fall.” This of course would ultimately alter the course of centuries and could make certain people cease to exist! And that’s where this novel ends.

Before reading the final book, I decided to read the short (in comparison) companion novel called Fallen in Love. This book centers on Luce’s renaissance life where many of the other angels and Nephilim friends have caught up to each other. Rather than meddle in Luce and Daniel’s life, they sit back and watch their love take place while also falling in love themselves. That’s right, you get to see Miles and Shelby fall in love. And you also get to meet Roland and Arriane’s romantic counterparts. Both of the angels romances end in tragedy, but they are ultimately glad to see the love be tween Luce and Daniel blossom. Cute, fluff, filler. I’m okay with it.

All of that brings me to the last novel, Rapture. I have to say this one was my favorite, although I still don’t understand how this story takes over 400 pages a book, but I digress. Luce and Daniel have finally found each other and the other angels who now know about Lucifer’s plan. They determine from some old book that Daniel wrote a long time ago that they need to fine three artifacts and that will help lead them to the sight of the fall to stop Lucifer. Oh yeah, they only have nine days to do that. And some seriously annoying foes who keep getting in their way. Ultimately, they end up gathering all of the artifacts, perform some sacrifice that was meant to happen all along, and get themselves to the sight of the fall.

Game-changer! Once this happens, Luce discovers she’s an angel! This is of course a suspicion I’ve had for a while, but it was nice to read. We also learned that she was the Throne’s 3-hand man (cough, lady). AND we learn that Luce loved someone before Daniel. And that someone was LUCIFER! That sh** is bananas. Luce is able to put all of these pieces together and knows she has to go find Lucifer in the fall and convince him she will never be with him and to stop the fall. She is not too successful, so the Throne gets involved. Ultimately, Daniel and Luce choose love once again, and are “sentenced” to live one final life as mortals.

Flash forward seventeen years and we see Miles and Shelby, Roland, and Arriane about to watch Luce and Daniel meet for the first time so their one true love story can start again for the last time. It’s like a move folks. Side note, Cam, my favorite character, really redeemed himself in these last two novels.

I don’t know that I’d recommend this series to adult people, but I definitely don’t regret having read them. Take that however you’d like 🙂

Oscar Nominations 2019

Hi all! I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written anything. I’d say reviewing the Oscar nominations that came out yesterday is a great way to come back!

Based on all of the other awards shows that have announced their nominees, most of these were unsurprising. That’s not to say there were no surprises! Below are a few that made me raise my eyebrows and say “wow.”

Best Picture – I’m going to get some hate for this, but I just don’t think Black Panther deserves a best picture nomination. With that being said, it’s a great accomplishment that will yield no results, and certainly no win. I am surprised that in the giving spirit that Academy was obviously in, that Crazy Rich Asians also didn’t get a nod. Especially since they’ve had up to 10 films nominated in this category in the past. Since the Golden Globes have aired I am switching my vote to Roma. I still haven’t seen it yet, but I envision it sweeping a lot of the categories it’s nominated for.

Best Director – I am very surprised to not see Bradley Cooper’s name in this list, and equally as surprised to see Cold War‘s director Pawl Powlikowski’s name here instead. Mainly because I only just heard of this foreign film about two weeks ago. It was also interesting to lean this was Spike Lee’s first nomination in the category. My money once again goes to Roma director Alfonso Cuaron.

Best Actress – I know some of these names are different, but I still think this is going to be a fight to the death between Glenn Close and Lady Gaga. But who knows, Roma‘s Yalitza Aparicio could take it right from under their noses.

Best Actor – Also no surprises here. I would be very much okay with any of these gentlemen taking it. I do give the edge to Rami Malek and Christian Bale, though.

Supporting Actress – I am surprised that Claire Foy got bumped from this category, but clearly the Academy loved Roma. Based on how the awards season has panned out so far, Regina Kings is taking the trophy home.

Supporting Actor – Not surprised, just bummed that little Timmy T didn’t get another nod this year, and still sorely disappointed that Lucas Hedges was overlooked. My vote is for Sam Rockwell, although Mahershala Ali will definitely win.

Those are all my stray observations. I can’t wait for them to air on February 24th! See all the nominees here: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lists/oscar-nominations-2019-complete-list-nominees-1172407/item/best-picture-1172473

Awards Season Continues: Critics’ Choice Awards

Last night, the CW aired the Critic’s Choice Awards. Apparently, I’ve never viewed this event before, and after I watched it in full, I think I understand why. It was a cluster! In comparison to other awards shows, this just seemed all over the place and very rushed. Taye Diggs was the host, although I wouldn’t call him a great one (yikes that opening number!). There were so many categories that they just bulk announced winners right before commercial breaks! And there were ties?! That’s just bizarre. Below are some highlights.

  1. Cringe-worthy speech awards go to Elsie Fisher and Christian Bale! Bless Elsie’s heart, but she was almost as awkward as her character in Eighth Grade! And after last week at the Golden Globes and the two speeches he made last night, I’m convinced Christian Bale is either trashed by the time he goes up to speak or he’s just really strange. Maybe it’s a bit of both.
  2. Taye Diggs dressed as Mary Poppins…was uncomfortable. You could tell Emily Blunt felt that way, too.
  3. Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara were most certainly my favorite presenters! Can they host absolutely everything next year??
  4. Alright, these ties! Both were categories featuring women, which was pretty cool. But still. First was for Best Actress in a Movie Made for TV or Limited Series in which both Patricia Aquette and Amy Adams won for their roles in Escape at Dannemora and Sharp Objects, respectively. Next was the Best Actress category which saw both Glenn Close and Lady Gaga for their roles in The Wife and A Star is Born, respectively. Both made for interesting speeches, but I hope I never see this happen again.
  5. There were no real surprises with the winners. If you’ve read any version of a review all year, these really came as no-brainers.

Don’t know if I’ll watch next year or just read some reviews on it, but either way you check out a list of all the winners here: https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/13/entertainment/critics-choice-awards-winners/index.html

Weekend Movie Reviews: The Upside, What They Had, All About Nina

Unfortunately, weather got in the way of my movie plans this weekend, so I only managed to sneak in one new one. Although I think it was a pretty solid choice! A few friends and I went to go see The Upside, a remake of the 2011 French film The Intouchables (based on a true story), starring Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston. Cranston plays quadriplegic Phillip who is in need of a new caretaker, although he is sort of fed up with life. Cue the hiring of ex-con Dell, played by Kevin Hart. At first the two are at odds with each other, but then essentially become the best of friends. I mean that is a very general overview, but what else would you expect to happen here? With both Hart and Cranston, the laughs were consistent throughout, and Nicole Kidman as Phillip’s executive, Yvonne, she was a light and nice touch to the ensemble. Definitely would recommend!

Since Saturday was a bust, I headed over to my local video store and rented two newer releases. The first I watched was What They Had, about a mother with Alzheimer’s and a father whose love is too strong to let her go to a facility. The film starts with a frantic call to siblings, played by Hilary Swank and Michael Shannon, that their mother has run out in the middle of the night during a blizzard on Christmas Eve. Two things I took away from this film: 1 – this family is messed up and 2 – this movie was freaking sad! Hilary Swank has a terrible relationship with, well, everyone, and Michael Shannon is a jerk because he’s around dealing with all of their parents’ health issues but isn’t the executor. She finally learns she has to make her life not to please people, so she separates from her husband and reconciles with her daughter. Michael Shannon finally gets his father’s approval for his livelihood. And then the saddest part – the father dies of a heart attack! Although Blythe Danner put it best, “I think now was the perfect time. Any sooner and I would have been too sad, and any later I wouldn’t have remembered him.” Tears. All the tears.

Next I popped in All About Nina. Which was just okay. Aside from the decent stand-up, I’d say this was definitely more of a drama. Nina, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead, is only about sex and sabotages anything even remotely close to relationship. She moves to LA in order to get away from an abusive married man she was having an affair with, and also to get on Comedy Prime. In the midst of all her efforts she runs into smooth talker and general nice guy Rafe, played by Common. Nina is willing to go all in with this relationship, but something from her past keeps butting its ugly head into it, until she finally blows during a set. By the end you are pretty sure things are good with her relationship, but not so sure about her stand-up.

TV Show Recap: Splitting Up Together, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Gotham

It was an awfully busy week for me this past one, so I got caught up this morning on what little shows have returned from their winter hiatus.

First on the docket was ABC’s half hour comedy, Splitting Up Together, starring Jenna Fischer and Oliver Hudson. Sometimes I love this show, and other times it’s just blah. I’m a little unsure if there’s enough meat and potatoes for this show to go on for too long, but perhaps I’ll be surprised in the future. This show last left off with Lena getting over her brief fling with foreign contractor, Vlad, and Martin getting cozy with a delightfully bitchy Ali Larter (Heroes R.I.P.). It only makes sense that this return episode would start off with a wet dream where Martin unsnaps Lena’s body suit. Lena is so moved by this dream that in an attempt to cover for starring she slams her face straight into the refrigerator. At the dentist to get her tooth fixed, she accepts an unknown pill (Mary Jane) from an unassuming old lady in the waiting room. The rest of the episode focuses on Martin trying to get his high ex-wife safely to parent night at the school. On a lame side story, Lena’s annoying sister Maya asks the most unfortunate waiter out for a date. The supporting cast for this show does absolutely nothing in terms of story line or plot, but maybe that’s intentional. Right now, both Jenna Fischer and Oliver Hudson are funny enough to keep me watching. Although I have a feeling this could be the next The Good Place for me.

Next up was the return of Brooklyn Nine-Nine! Praise the television gods that NBC picked this up. One of my favorite comedies on TV right now, this episode left off right where FOX ended it – on a cliffhanger! After Jake and Amy’s wedding at the bar, Captain Holt received word if he was going to be the new commissioner. He was!…until he read it back with the word “not” in there. Jake and Amy headed off for a very intimate and tropical honeymoon with some wedding insurance money. When they get there though, they run into the deeply depressed Captain Holt! In order to get him out of their hair they decide to include him in all of their activities so he’d cheer up and head home early. It worked in the only way this show would make it work – Captain Holt was going to quit the police department! Cue Santiago getting real PG angry at him, in which he then had a change of heart. Jake and Amy were then able to enjoy the rest of their honeymoon role playing at Melvil Dewey (creator of the Dewey Decimal System) and Holly Genero from Die Hard, respectively. Meanwhile in the office, Gina’s mom left Boyle’s dad, so naturally Boyle badgers Gina into getting to the bottom of it – her mom was cheating! Elsewhere, Sargent Jeffords was having difficulty helping Rosa with a dilemma. In searching for Holt’s handbook for if he became commissioner, he found out that there were no specific instructions since he trusts Jeffords completely. Chock full of jokes, this was a great premiere episode on a new network!

Like I promised, here is my review of Gotham’s second episode of the final season, “Trespassers”. Picking up almost essentially where last week left off, the orphan reveals there are other children being worked to the bone for a group called the Soothsayers who are powered by smoke (?). Jim and Harvey are off to find their whereabouts after bargaining with Barbara into borrowing a large truck. With a little scuffle, they find the kids and get them all loaded to head off to a safe location except for three of them. The kids along with Jim and Harvey find a sketchy house and head in for protection. They got more than they bargained for when they run into “the mother.” She was certainly creepy – and a cannibal! While trying to escape, Jim gets in the middle of the Soothsayers and another painted-up gang both bickering over who gets the kill shot for Penguin’s ransom on Jim’s head. Barbara steps in to end it, with Jim’s help, too, and all is fine in the world of the children and most of the remaining citizens of Gotham. Meanwhile, we revisit the Riddler who wakes up to find himself chained to a bed. Satisfied that he’s stopped Ed from taking over while he sleeps, he heads into the bathroom only to find a gang member tied up! That Street Demon gang member leads him back to his boss, who also happens to be killed. On the wall in spray paint says “Penguin was here,” which means Ed framed Penguin to start a gang war. The biggest revelation of this episode was Bruce finding “the witch” mentioned in last week’s episode. That witch ended up being Ivy, who gave Bruce a seed that would help cure Selina of her paralysis. Although Ivy warned that it will change her. After taking the seed, Selina is able to walk again, but we see her eyes shift to the legendary cat eyes. What happens next week remains to be seen, but I’m excited!

1985/Gotham Review (Sort Of)

I’m sorry to say that I missed Gotham last night, so I don’t have a review for you all yet. But I missed out for a great reason! This past Tuesday while scrolling through Twitter, I see none other than the Riddler himself, Cory Michael Smith, tweet about heading back to his alma mater to screen 1985 followed by a brief Q&A. Well don’t you know that his alma mater is just two hours from my house! Yes, it was on a work night, and yes, I was going to go – and I did! And it was totally worth it.

In a very small theater on campus, I got to see one of my favorite films from 2018 again; it was very nice being able to see it in a theater this time around rather than in my living room. Then, THE Cory Michael Smith walked right past me and up to the stage for a moderated Q&A. I was pleasantly surprised that no Gotham questions were asked, and he spoke very eloquently about the film and the impact it’s had on him.

After the Q&A session, he was super generous and met with any fan who wanted to chat or get a photo (myself included). While I was waiting for my opportunity to meet Cory, I heard him catch up with old professors and laugh with fans – it was very endearing. And then it was my turn. From my perspective I didn’t feel like I talked too smooth, but in hindsight it actually was a very nice conversation. I let him know how much I loved the film, and also what a huge fan of Gotham I was. Coincidentally, I had just finished a duel drawing of him and fellow Gotham actor, Robin Lord Taylor, so I brought that along and was able to give it to him! That got me a hug people! I am in Heaven.

So yes, overall, it was a magnificent experience despite the long drive and holding my eyelids up at work today. I promise I’ll get a review post up of the latest Gotham episode tomorrow!