Well folks, I managed to squeeze in four intensely mediocre films this weekend. Sorry if I have offended anyone, but this is just my opinion.
First up was my sister’s choice to go see Serenity with Matthew McConauhey and Anne Hathaway. I will admit that I never used to care for McConauhey and I’m a severe Hatha-hater, so I’m not sure what made me decide to say “yes” to seeing this movie. Either way, I went. About halfway through I turned to my friend and declared that this movie is at least a D+. The story took place in a sleepy fishing town in some tropical area. McConauhey’s Baker Dill has casual sex with an older women and it obsessed with catching this gigantic tuna. It’s this same scene for about 45 minutes of the film and then Hathaway shows up with a seriously bad dye job. We learn that she’s an ex from back in the day and left him with their son for her now abusive husband. She eventually convinces Baker to take her husband out to sea and kill him. All while this is happening there are a few weird camera shifts and cuts to their strange son playing video games. At the end you finally learn that Baker Dill died in war and the whole movie is a video game world that the son has created. Very choppy. Very not good. Don’t waste your cash.
Glass only left me mildly disappointed. Despite the events taking place right after Split, a lot of time was spend rehashing what Unbreakable star Bruce Willis and his son have been up to. And just like Unbreakable, I really wanted to like this movie because the concept is so original and unlike anything I’ve ever really seen, but it was just so slow and not a whole lot of action. Spoiler, all of the original baddies (and one good) die at the end; a seemingly good end to the trilogy, but Sarah Paulson’s Dr. Ellie Staple is part of a bigger and extremely delusional cult and it seems like their work might not be done. This film is getting panned by critics across the board, but that doesn’t stop the box office for this to keep going up. I vote you spend your theater time with something else and wait to rent this.
Next I rented two more recent releases, The Oath and Mid90s. I wanted to like them both so much, but one was a political comedy starring Ike Barinholtz and Tiffany Haddish that just didn’t land for me and Mid90s was rather vulgar even for my taste. The Oath focused on a near future dystopian state where the government wants everyone to sign a controversial document called the “Patriot’s Oath.” Taking place over the course of Thanksgiving week, there are family arguments and two questionable Homeland Security agents show up when all hell breaks loose. A lot of rehashing, and I just don’t really like political movies. Mid90s focused on little Stevie, who becomes enthralled and eventually friends with a group of skaters. In many efforts to prove himself he smokes, drinks, does drugs, has a sexual experience, and gets himself hurt. A lot. Even though I am a product of the 90s, I found it really hard to related to this film. maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up in this particular area of the country or in Stevie’s particular household. Also, Lucas Hedges as a bully big brother was completely unbelievable. Not sure why Jonah Hill cast him here.
Overall, don’t waste your time with any of these films and hopefully I’ll have something better to review next weekend!