Movies

Mediocre Movie Reviews: Serenity, Glass, Mid90s, The Oath

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Well folks, I managed to squeeze in four intensely mediocre films this weekend. Sorry if I have offended anyone, but this is just my opinion.

First up was my sister’s choice to go see Serenity with Matthew McConauhey and Anne Hathaway. I will admit that I never used to care for McConauhey and I’m a severe Hatha-hater, so I’m not sure what made me decide to say “yes” to seeing this movie. Either way, I went. About halfway through I turned to my friend and declared that this movie is at least a D+. The story took place in a sleepy fishing town in some tropical area. McConauhey’s Baker Dill has casual sex with an older women and it obsessed with catching this gigantic tuna. It’s this same scene for about 45 minutes of the film and then Hathaway shows up with a seriously bad dye job. We learn that she’s an ex from back in the day and left him with their son for her now abusive husband. She eventually convinces Baker to take her husband out to sea and kill him. All while this is happening there are a few weird camera shifts and cuts to their strange son playing video games. At the end you finally learn that Baker Dill died in war and the whole movie is a video game world that the son has created. Very choppy. Very not good. Don’t waste your cash.

Glass only left me mildly disappointed. Despite the events taking place right after Split, a lot of time was spend rehashing what Unbreakable star Bruce Willis and his son have been up to. And just like Unbreakable, I really wanted to like this movie because the concept is so original and unlike anything I’ve ever really seen, but it was just so slow and not a whole lot of action. Spoiler, all of the original baddies (and one good) die at the end; a seemingly good end to the trilogy, but Sarah Paulson’s Dr. Ellie Staple is part of a bigger and extremely delusional cult and it seems like their work might not be done. This film is getting panned by critics across the board, but that doesn’t stop the box office for this to keep going up. I vote you spend your theater time with something else and wait to rent this.

Next I rented two more recent releases, The Oath and Mid90s. I wanted to like them both so much, but one was a political comedy starring Ike Barinholtz and Tiffany Haddish that just didn’t land for me and Mid90s was rather vulgar even for my taste. The Oath focused on a near future dystopian state where the government wants everyone to sign a controversial document called the “Patriot’s Oath.” Taking place over the course of Thanksgiving week, there are family arguments and two questionable Homeland Security agents show up when all hell breaks loose. A lot of rehashing, and I just don’t really like political movies. Mid90s focused on little Stevie, who becomes enthralled and eventually friends with a group of skaters. In many efforts to prove himself he smokes, drinks, does drugs, has a sexual experience, and gets himself hurt. A lot. Even though I am a product of the 90s, I found it really hard to related to this film. maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up in this particular area of the country or in Stevie’s particular household. Also, Lucas Hedges as a bully big brother was completely unbelievable. Not sure why Jonah Hill cast him here.

Overall, don’t waste your time with any of these films and hopefully I’ll have something better to review next weekend!

Awards Season Review: Screen Actors Guild Awards (SAG-AFTRA)

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Awards seasons continues with the last major ceremony before the Academy Awards, the Screen Actors Guild Awards, so naturally I was excited to watch the 25th iteration of it last night! With that being said, Megan Mullally, the host, was seriously awkward, and I don’t know that I even heard chuckles from the audience for most of her jokes. Although I did like when she brought out Smitty from Will & Grace. Her opening monologue was so poor that I think she took away from what would have been a pretty good joke from Ricky Martin, who was a presenter of the first award of the night.

I apparently didn’t look too closely at who was nominated for each category before tuning in, because some were quite odd and surprising. It seems some people who were considered for supporting roles were considered for main ones here, Sam Rockwell got shut out of the supporting actor, and so did Vice for the best ensemble category. Some surprise wins for me included Emily Blunt for her silent role in A Quiet Place, John Krasinski’s nomination for best actor in a drama series, and This Is Us taking home the trophy for best drama over the last season of The Americans.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel swept all the categories it was nominated for, and Rami Malek further cemented his chances for best actor after he nabbed it again last night (did anyone else see Christian Bale’s face at that win?!). I was surprised, but not, to see Black Panther win best ensemble, especially since it was up against other crowd favorites like Crazy Rich Asians. I did notice that Roma had no nominations and A Star is Born got completely shut out again (not looking good, Oscars), so some other actors got some real chances. And this awards show is different in that the awards are voted on by their SAG peers – it’s almost like a superlatives show, although good actors know good acting, so I can’t ignore that.

Notable speeches of the night included Rami Malek, Emily Blunt, and Life Achievement Award recipient Alan Alda. Go fishing through Youtube to find those – you’re welcome.

Film Review: Polar

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So yesterday was January 25th, which means Mads Mikkelsen’s first of two frigid films came out, Polar on Netflix. I stayed up late to watch this gruesome action flick, and I must say it was totally worth it! Having never read the noir comic this moved was based on, it gave me some serious John Wick vibes, but a lot gritter.

Mikkelsen plays Duncan, an assassin two weeks from retirement. The company he works for has other plans, especially since Duncan’s retirement equals an $8 million dollar payout that they just can’t afford (yay finance!). Duncan is living a semi-quiet life in the woods next door to Camille, played by Vanessa Hudgens (odd), who I’m not quite sure what her purpose serves in his life yet.

All of that is disrupted when upper management sends a sea of younger assassins to kill Duncan. He ends up defending himself really well, and NAKED, but learns that Camille has been taken as a means to lure Duncan to “the mansion” to be killed. After getting duped by an old colleague and tortured for the four days leading up to his retirement, Duncan ultimately comes out on top but severely injured. A few days of healing later and he’s ready to take on the remaining assassins with the coolest laser-machine guns! Mass carnage!

He saves Camille from her drug-induced state, but then, PLOT TWIST, she ends up being the only survivor from an assignment Duncan was given long ago. With a gun pointed at his head, Duncan accepts his fate only to be spared to help Camille to find the man who had put the hit out on her family.

Like I said, really gruesome and gritty, but really well done. Maks Mikkelsen is fantastic!

Oscar Nominations 2019

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Hi all! I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written anything. I’d say reviewing the Oscar nominations that came out yesterday is a great way to come back!

Based on all of the other awards shows that have announced their nominees, most of these were unsurprising. That’s not to say there were no surprises! Below are a few that made me raise my eyebrows and say “wow.”

Best Picture – I’m going to get some hate for this, but I just don’t think Black Panther deserves a best picture nomination. With that being said, it’s a great accomplishment that will yield no results, and certainly no win. I am surprised that in the giving spirit that Academy was obviously in, that Crazy Rich Asians also didn’t get a nod. Especially since they’ve had up to 10 films nominated in this category in the past. Since the Golden Globes have aired I am switching my vote to Roma. I still haven’t seen it yet, but I envision it sweeping a lot of the categories it’s nominated for.

Best Director – I am very surprised to not see Bradley Cooper’s name in this list, and equally as surprised to see Cold War‘s director Pawl Powlikowski’s name here instead. Mainly because I only just heard of this foreign film about two weeks ago. It was also interesting to lean this was Spike Lee’s first nomination in the category. My money once again goes to Roma director Alfonso Cuaron.

Best Actress – I know some of these names are different, but I still think this is going to be a fight to the death between Glenn Close and Lady Gaga. But who knows, Roma‘s Yalitza Aparicio could take it right from under their noses.

Best Actor – Also no surprises here. I would be very much okay with any of these gentlemen taking it. I do give the edge to Rami Malek and Christian Bale, though.

Supporting Actress – I am surprised that Claire Foy got bumped from this category, but clearly the Academy loved Roma. Based on how the awards season has panned out so far, Regina Kings is taking the trophy home.

Supporting Actor – Not surprised, just bummed that little Timmy T didn’t get another nod this year, and still sorely disappointed that Lucas Hedges was overlooked. My vote is for Sam Rockwell, although Mahershala Ali will definitely win.

Those are all my stray observations. I can’t wait for them to air on February 24th! See all the nominees here: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lists/oscar-nominations-2019-complete-list-nominees-1172407/item/best-picture-1172473

Awards Season Continues: Critics’ Choice Awards

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Last night, the CW aired the Critic’s Choice Awards. Apparently, I’ve never viewed this event before, and after I watched it in full, I think I understand why. It was a cluster! In comparison to other awards shows, this just seemed all over the place and very rushed. Taye Diggs was the host, although I wouldn’t call him a great one (yikes that opening number!). There were so many categories that they just bulk announced winners right before commercial breaks! And there were ties?! That’s just bizarre. Below are some highlights.

  1. Cringe-worthy speech awards go to Elsie Fisher and Christian Bale! Bless Elsie’s heart, but she was almost as awkward as her character in Eighth Grade! And after last week at the Golden Globes and the two speeches he made last night, I’m convinced Christian Bale is either trashed by the time he goes up to speak or he’s just really strange. Maybe it’s a bit of both.
  2. Taye Diggs dressed as Mary Poppins…was uncomfortable. You could tell Emily Blunt felt that way, too.
  3. Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara were most certainly my favorite presenters! Can they host absolutely everything next year??
  4. Alright, these ties! Both were categories featuring women, which was pretty cool. But still. First was for Best Actress in a Movie Made for TV or Limited Series in which both Patricia Aquette and Amy Adams won for their roles in Escape at Dannemora and Sharp Objects, respectively. Next was the Best Actress category which saw both Glenn Close and Lady Gaga for their roles in The Wife and A Star is Born, respectively. Both made for interesting speeches, but I hope I never see this happen again.
  5. There were no real surprises with the winners. If you’ve read any version of a review all year, these really came as no-brainers.

Don’t know if I’ll watch next year or just read some reviews on it, but either way you check out a list of all the winners here: https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/13/entertainment/critics-choice-awards-winners/index.html

Weekend Movie Reviews: The Upside, What They Had, All About Nina

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Unfortunately, weather got in the way of my movie plans this weekend, so I only managed to sneak in one new one. Although I think it was a pretty solid choice! A few friends and I went to go see The Upside, a remake of the 2011 French film The Intouchables (based on a true story), starring Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston. Cranston plays quadriplegic Phillip who is in need of a new caretaker, although he is sort of fed up with life. Cue the hiring of ex-con Dell, played by Kevin Hart. At first the two are at odds with each other, but then essentially become the best of friends. I mean that is a very general overview, but what else would you expect to happen here? With both Hart and Cranston, the laughs were consistent throughout, and Nicole Kidman as Phillip’s executive, Yvonne, she was a light and nice touch to the ensemble. Definitely would recommend!

Since Saturday was a bust, I headed over to my local video store and rented two newer releases. The first I watched was What They Had, about a mother with Alzheimer’s and a father whose love is too strong to let her go to a facility. The film starts with a frantic call to siblings, played by Hilary Swank and Michael Shannon, that their mother has run out in the middle of the night during a blizzard on Christmas Eve. Two things I took away from this film: 1 – this family is messed up and 2 – this movie was freaking sad! Hilary Swank has a terrible relationship with, well, everyone, and Michael Shannon is a jerk because he’s around dealing with all of their parents’ health issues but isn’t the executor. She finally learns she has to make her life not to please people, so she separates from her husband and reconciles with her daughter. Michael Shannon finally gets his father’s approval for his livelihood. And then the saddest part – the father dies of a heart attack! Although Blythe Danner put it best, “I think now was the perfect time. Any sooner and I would have been too sad, and any later I wouldn’t have remembered him.” Tears. All the tears.

Next I popped in All About Nina. Which was just okay. Aside from the decent stand-up, I’d say this was definitely more of a drama. Nina, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead, is only about sex and sabotages anything even remotely close to relationship. She moves to LA in order to get away from an abusive married man she was having an affair with, and also to get on Comedy Prime. In the midst of all her efforts she runs into smooth talker and general nice guy Rafe, played by Common. Nina is willing to go all in with this relationship, but something from her past keeps butting its ugly head into it, until she finally blows during a set. By the end you are pretty sure things are good with her relationship, but not so sure about her stand-up.

1985/Gotham Review (Sort Of)

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I’m sorry to say that I missed Gotham last night, so I don’t have a review for you all yet. But I missed out for a great reason! This past Tuesday while scrolling through Twitter, I see none other than the Riddler himself, Cory Michael Smith, tweet about heading back to his alma mater to screen 1985 followed by a brief Q&A. Well don’t you know that his alma mater is just two hours from my house! Yes, it was on a work night, and yes, I was going to go – and I did! And it was totally worth it.

In a very small theater on campus, I got to see one of my favorite films from 2018 again; it was very nice being able to see it in a theater this time around rather than in my living room. Then, THE Cory Michael Smith walked right past me and up to the stage for a moderated Q&A. I was pleasantly surprised that no Gotham questions were asked, and he spoke very eloquently about the film and the impact it’s had on him.

After the Q&A session, he was super generous and met with any fan who wanted to chat or get a photo (myself included). While I was waiting for my opportunity to meet Cory, I heard him catch up with old professors and laugh with fans – it was very endearing. And then it was my turn. From my perspective I didn’t feel like I talked too smooth, but in hindsight it actually was a very nice conversation. I let him know how much I loved the film, and also what a huge fan of Gotham I was. Coincidentally, I had just finished a duel drawing of him and fellow Gotham actor, Robin Lord Taylor, so I brought that along and was able to give it to him! That got me a hug people! I am in Heaven.

So yes, overall, it was a magnificent experience despite the long drive and holding my eyelids up at work today. I promise I’ll get a review post up of the latest Gotham episode tomorrow!

Movie Review: White Boy Rick

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The first movie of 2019! Having said that, it was a bit of a letdown. I applaud the fact that they filmed in Lakewood, OH and Vegas, and the soundtrack was on point, but the story line itself was rather slow and dragged out.

Super-scum from Detroit shows Richard (Matthew McConaughey) and son White Boy Rick himself (newcomer Richie Merritt) dealing firearms to the other scum of Detroit. Rick gets caught up in the wrong crowd, drug dealers, and lives the high life for a while while also being an informant to the FBI. All that comes to an end when Rick ends up getting shot, and then the FBI eventually drop him and arrest his entire crew, including friend Boo. Rick and his dad try to strike a deal with the FBI in the end, but they don’t keep their word and Rick ends up in jail with a life sentence.

When I initially heard about this movie based on real-life Rick Wershe Jr. who was the youngest FBI informant ever at the age of 14, I thought this was going to be entertaining as hell, but it just wasn’t paced properly. Not a great way to start off my 2019 movie list, but there will always be misses with the hits.

Best & Worst of 2018 – Movies

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With it being the last day of 2018, I am sad to say that I won’t be able to squeeze in any more movies, new or old. It was a wild ride for me – 146 films! Quick math, that means I would have watched one movie per day this year, but let’s be real, sometimes I crammed five or six into one weekend 🙂 Below are my top 10 for best and worst films I watched this year along with some worthy runner-ups.

WORST

  1. Acrimony – Starring Taraji P Henson, and just so, so terrible. She’s a woman with rage, and is hell-bent on her life being the worst. Oh, and she’s crazy.
  2. Brad’s Status – Super lame, and I’m not even sure I could tell you the plot at this point. Either way, just don’t waste your time on this Ben Stiller flick.
  3. Phantom Thread – Obscenely boring. So boring that I fell asleep through the middle of it, and that almost never happens! I know this got a ton of Oscar nominations and some wins this year, but it was not my cup of tea. Way to NOT go out with a bang Daniel Day Lewis.
  4. All I See is You – I already don’t care for Blake Lively, so this sure didn’t help. It had a great premise, just a really poor execution. Basically, a blind woman is suddenly made to see, but she got to physically see a side of her marriage she didn’t want to.
  5. Flower – Super freaking weird! Zoey Deutch and Adam Scott should have meant this would be good, but it was just not.
  6. Sorry to Bother You – Hands down the strangest movie I saw this year. I love Armie Hammer, but some parts of this movie are better left to be unseen. I can’t get those half horse people out of my head!
  7. Assassination Nation – The second strangest movie I saw this year! It was a mix of The Purge and Spring Breakers…so you do the math there.
  8. Outlaw King – Even the promise of full-frontal Chris Pine could not make finish watching this almost two and a half hour movie about Robert the Bruce of Scotland. I’m not a history buff either, so that probably didn’t help.
  9. Cam – So, so weird, and really graphic for a Netflix film!
  10. Hot Summer Nights – The comment I have in my brief review file sums it up “weak Timmy T, weak.”

BEST

  1. Call Me By Your Name – I know technically this came out in November of 2017, but my home state didn’t get it until January! So there! This film is so beautiful and wonderfully acted. Deserved all the awards it won and got nominated for.
  2. Upgrade – I freaking loved this movie! It was a very close call on making this my #1 of 2018. This film was so cathartic and very original. It had love, sadness, violence (lots of violence), and futuristic science and technology. Oh yeah, did I mention it only had a budget $3 million?! – visually stunning.
  3. Tully – Holy plot twists Batman! My sister and I were the only ones in the theater to watch this, but let’s just say it rocked my world. Honestly never saw the plot twist coming!
  4. Molly’s Game – The dialogue alone was enough to sell me on this movie, but add in underground celebrity high-stakes poker to the mix and I’m all in (no pun intended). I know she’s paying for it now, but am extremely jealous of her former job.
  5. American Animals – Not a story I would have normally been interested in, but Evan Peters caught my attention, and then the execution solidified it for me. Very unique filming technique – I don’t want to spoil it!
  6. Eighth Grade – So awkwardly hilarious. My sister was literally squirming in her seat. That’s how well it was done.
  7. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before – I never knew how much I needed a new cushy rom-com in my life (since 13 Going on 30, of course) until I watched this Netflix original. It is so cute. That is all.
  8. Searching – Also holy plot twists! Shot all through Face Time and other social media outlets, I really thought I wasn’t going to be a fan of how this movie played out, but it very much drew you into the story!
  9. Bohemian Rhapsody – Like I said in my Golden Globes post, Rami Malek totally nails it as Freddie Mercury, and you get a bunch of Queen songs! What else could a person ask for?!
  10. 1985 – I know I just reviewed this the other day, but what an impact it had. It was shot beautifully in black and white, and just lovely.

WORST: RUNNER-UPS
Wanted to provide the brief commentary I made here. These would be my honest, gut reactions to these films.

  1. Damsel – Went on forever, not enough Robert Pattinson with a southern accent.
  2. All Summers End – Just like I wished this movie would.
  3. The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter – Only funny thing was Josh Brolin’s deer call.
  4. The First Purge – 3rd best (out of 4).
  5. Blockers – Gary. Cole.
  6. Crash Pad – Domhnall Gleeson is just so great that I can overlook this.
  7. How It Ends – As long as it ends with Theo James, I don’t care!
  8. Little Italy – So cheesey, and I’m not just talking about the pizza.
  9. Izzy Gets the F*** Across Town – Izzy is an emotionally unstable person.
  10. Don’t Worry He Won’t Get Far on Foot – Jonah Hill disco dancing. That is all.

BEST: RUNNER-UPS
Once again, this is my initial commentary right after watching these. Enjoy 🙂

  1. I, Tonya – Very strong performances (even Keith!).
  2. The Shape of Water – Strange, fairy tale-esque.
  3. The Commuter – Crazy pants! But not on the level of Split.
  4. Unsane – Paranoia at its finest (and filmed on a iPhone!).
  5. Borg vs. McEnroe – Best tennis movie I’ve ever seen – A+ for Shia LeBeouf as McEnroe!
  6. BlacKkKlansman – Ending gave me goosebumps.
  7. A Star is Born – So good, so sad.
  8. Boy Erased – I want Nicole Kidman to be my mom!
  9. Mary, Queen of Scots – Mary, Queen of Thots
  10. Instant Family – Adorable and funny!

“Vice” Movie Review

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Alright, for quite some time I was looking forward to December 25th, and it was not because it was Christmas. I was excited because Adam McKay’s newest film “Vice” was going to be released. Well, Christmas has come and gone, and I finally saw “Vice” yesterday. And I’ve got to say that I was mildly disappointed. For it being a comedy-drama, and an unfortunately long running time, I didn’t really find myself laughing or that engaged in the drama. Sure, this movie made me realize how shady and crazy Dick Cheney and his wife were, but it just lacked the pizzazz that 2015’s “The Big Short” had.

I was seriously impressed with all of the individual performances: Christian Bale (Holy pounds, Batman!), Amy Adams and Sam Rockwell nailed their impersonations. Steve Carrell was just okay in my book, and I was pleasantly surprised with some of the smaller supporting roles, but all together the film was just forgettable and not that interesting. I don’t regret seeing it, but I also don’t know that I’d recommend it either. Definitely don’t expect to see it on my top 10 list next week.